(The following was written by a life-long Chicago Bears fan, me, simply numbed by the truth of what he saw Monday night. His morose jokes, japes, and jackanapes follow.)
They say that figures never lie and liars always figure, so figure out if I’m lying.
(False start; let’s try that again.)
Your first figure is the most relevant one, as it directly impacts everything else. Final score: Detroit Lions 24, Chicago Bears 13.
The aforementioned figure is important because of the
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